I miss her too - Nicholas

Date: Year 1053, start of February.
Time: Evening to night. 4 hours after sundown
Place: Nicholas' residence
Surroundings: N/A (we already know)
Weather: Raining Heavily.
Outfit: Usual rags
Dedicated to: @Nicholas <3

It had already been three days since he last saw Lucile, soon to be four. Everyday he thought about looking for her, but that was out of the question, this was not her first time disappearing and she knew how to handle herself. That was all he could think about, and now that they had Neea, it was his top priority to take care of her, his blessing, they're blessing. Ever since Lucile left she had trouble sleeping, eating and had started crying, which might sound normal for a baby but not her. She was such a calm baby, never crying, never making any kinds of fuss. Which made the name all more fitting.

The last few days he kept thinking back on the day of her birth, how happy they both were so see their new daughter, it didn't make any sense that Lucile would just leave out of nowhere.. And that thought only made it worse. what if something had happened to her? She had been through enough already. But he couldn't expose Neea to any danger, they only time he could go out was at night which made any place more dangerous, and there was no way he was going to let anyone else watch her for him. He was lucky to catch one of his dealers close to his home one day and managed to spread the word a bit, that was at least something. Besides, he didn't know of anyone that was stronger than Lucile, she had been through and overcome to much, that belief kept hope alive.

It was clear that Neea was missing her mother, she was always so happy when Lucile was there, holding her, or just within eyesight. Seeing her like this was painful, it was not something he wanted for her, not ever. All he could do was comfort her as best he could, never leave her side to show that he was not leaving her. That's partly why he always slept with her cradled in his arms. He didn't need sleep being what he was, but she did, and it was calming for both him and her so it was a great thing, he could lay next to her forever. Besides being calm he had noticed something else about her, almost as if she was a demon, but that didn't make any sense, genes are quite strict about passing on, all studies clearly stated that both parents had to be a demon to pass it on, and as far as he knew there was no half demons, were there? She was too young to tell, but it was worrying, not because of her race, he didn't mind that, he actually hoped for that seeing as she would be stronger and live longer, but if that was the case then precautions had to be made to keep her safe and healthy.

They had only been asleep a few hours before he heard noises at the front door, someone was lock picking, perks of being a vampire. As soon as he heard it his eyes were wide open, ears on full alert, he carefully slid out of the bed and put the covers closer around Neea, placing his hand on her back for a brief moment before he silently walked out of the room and into a corner of the study, the lights were off. He felt his jaw loosen as if he was tracking a prey, he had become more used to being the creature he was, which was a bad thing. He had killed once before which would make it easier to happen again, as much as he tried to avoid it. But now that he had Neea, there was no way anyoen was getting close to her and live, he would kill a hundred men if it meant keeping her safe, the oath did not trump his daughter.

He heard the door open and steps walking inside, but he recognized their smell, did he know them? He walked out and saw Moon, and as soon as he did, he became relaxed, relieved even, it had been so long since he had seen her. He walked up to her and hugged her tightly. "It's so good to see you again Moon.." He smiled at her, something he hadn't done since Lucile disappeared. "Yeah.. most likely wants to spare me of whatever it is, even thought she knows we are in this together, not matter what.." He is a bit soft in his voice, as if he is just thinking out loud.
He sees her looking around and is a tad confused to why but then when she asks him he realized that she hasn't seen her niece yet, and his smile gets wider from being a proud dad of his blessing. "Yeah I'm sorry but you have to wait a bit, she hasn't slept long so later when she wakes up you can meet her. She has had a hard time sleeping without her mother.." He has a tad sad tone to what he is saying but he keeps his smile up nevertheless. "Yes we do, you need to find her, i can't, i've sent word out to people i know but that's all i can do. My priority is my daughter. a few months ago i wouldn't worry as much seeing as she could be doing a lot of things, but not that she has a daughter she wouldn't just leave without saying anything, not as close as they are.." He is a bit rushed when he speaks as if every second counted. "You know so much right? Have so many contacts and information you have to have at least some lead right? Please tell me you have something, anything." As desperate as he sounds he knows she is trying her best, just like before, it was just that he finally had another chance at finding her.

It made him happy to see how she lit up when she heard it was a girl, he knew how much she wanted to have kids of her own. She was going to be an aunt, and hopefully a close one at that. If there was one person he trusted with Neea other than Lucile it was her, no one else, he knew she would treat her like it was her own. "She really is, i've helped deliver and worked on a lot of babies back in my day and i have to say ours is the most calm i've ever seen, she is such a blessing" He had that stupid proud dad grin on him as he spoke of her. When she asked for the name it made him think back to all the times him and Lucile had discussed what to call her, even before she was born. "It's Neea, an unusual name i know. Lucile wanted me to name her, think it has to do with her thinking i have more experience with people than her hah" She was always so unsure of herself when it came to normal things as she called it. She had missed pretty much everything in her upbringing so it was to be expected, and he never minded it, it was cute in a way. "So i named her after a dog i had as a kid, the only one i loved from my family, except for my brother.. It means nature, purity, peace, which is even more fitting as calm as she is" His thoughts shifted briefly back to his best friend as a kid, she had had such a good heart, another family member dead due to lack of caring parents.

He followed her to the sofa, standing next to her with an impatient look on him, awaiting the information she had. But as soon as he heard that Moon had lost most of her connections he got really disappointed, not at her, just at the situation. She was at a dead end, just like him, back at square one. He heard that she was not happy about it, so he placed a hand on her shoulder as she finished. A sigh comes out before he responds "It's alright, that' will have to do, we'll find her" He kept it calm and collected with a lingering hope in his voice. He then lets go of her shoulder and makes his way to the table next to the sofa where a candlestick is placed. Being a vampire darkness wasn't really a problem for him, but he didn't know how good she could see, and besides, it would be more comforting than sit in the dark. Lighting up a match as she continued to talk, and just as he lit the candle he heard something that made him think back to when he first saw brown hair growing out on Lucile. It didn't make any sense because genes didn't just change out of nowhere, even with demons from what he had studied. He never did figure out why it happened, but it didn't seem to hurt or have any other effects as far as he could tell. And Moon was right, she was really cute with the brown hair, as much as he loved her silver hair he was a big fan of the new brown color.

Then he heard her blaming herself for her disappearance and he was not having that, as soon as she rubbed her eyes he sat down next to her with his hand around her shoulder. "Listen to me, this is not your fault. It's like you said, she would never just leave us like this without saying anything, something must have happened, something out of your control." He rubs her back briefly hoping to comfort her, making her see that it was not her fault. When she said her people had seen her heading towards Kro'na his face lit up with some confusion. She was traveling? Alone? Then as soon as she said him. His face lit up and he immediately got up on his feet looking at her. "No.. You can't be serious.. Why would.. What the hell is going on?" he stared pacing around, his voice became louder as his worry got to a whole new level. "Why didn't your people stop her?!" He was so conflicted, he wanted to go after her, but he was not going to leave Neea, nor was he going to take her with him. Besides, Lucile would want him to stay here with her, keeping her safe. "Well? Send them after her! send them to Avathar! stop her!" He was talking like he was angry at her, even thought he wasn't. They knew where she was, or at least a very good guess where she was heading. They had to act as quick as possible. Why couldn't this piece of shit just die already, stop causing so much problems for them..

It made him happy to see her smiling over her niece, he could tell how excited she was to finally meet her, but it would have to wait a bit more so Neea could get her full rest. He was always proud when he could talk about his daughter but this time was a little bit different, he was really happy for Moon as well, seeing how much she wanted her own children, this was her chance, because Neea was also hers in a way, and he was going to make sure she knew that.
He couldn't help but to smile when she said he'd get rid of her insecurities at some point. "Yeah, you're right." Lucile had already come a long way from where she was when they met. She was stronger, smarter, more confident and more open to new things, she was even teaching him a few things at times.

When he got the information that she was heading for the psychopath it blind-sided him, making him lash out because of his fears. He didn't even notice he had raised his voice until he heard Moons scared voice and pose. As soon as he saw her he took a step back with a face of regret and an open mouth about to talk, but she was faster. She was right, why would people offer their lives for someone they didn't even know. Then she mentioned Langdon and the guilt spread all around him, his face became sorrowful as he thought about it, it was his fault that he died. He was the reason Moon was alone when she wasn't here. It was only when she mentioned Lucile not being there anymore that snapped him out of it. He placed his hand on her shoulder as he moved his head to look her in the face as best he could. "I'm sorry Moon.. i didn't mean to say any of that. I know you did everything you could and always will.. It's just i loose my mind when she's not here youknow? I.. I can't stand not knowing where she is, i think of a hundred different scenarios a day about what could happen to her.. The only thing keeping me sane is Neea.." His voice was shaking and he couldn't help it, this was the first time he could talk about it, he couldn't show any fear around his daughter, he had to be strong for her. "But she is scared youknow?.. Lucile has never been away from Neea before, she might think she has been abandoned, and i can tell every time i put her down just for a second, she gets scared, her face shows fear and if i leave her sight for even a second she starts to cry.. Do you understand?? She thinks i'm going to leave her too." His voice was now trembling and a single tear ran down his face, he was scared out of his mind.
He clears his throat and squeezes her shoulder slightly. "We're not going to loose her ok?, we wont loose this family, not ever. Langdon died for her and i know he is watching over her still to this day, just like he is watching over you." Just as he finishes he hears the baby crying in the bedroom. "I think we were a bit to loud.." He smiles slightly as she could finally meet her aunt now. He turns around and quickly gets into the room so his daughter could see him. "Sssh shh I'm here baby, don't worry, i would never leave you" He wraps the covers around her, picks her up and holds her close to his chest as he starts to gently rock her. Then he starts to slowly walk back to Moon "I have someone special that wants to meet you Neea" Then when he gets to Moon he stops in front of her and moves his gaze up from Neea to Moon. "This is Moon, your aunt. Mommy number two" His voice is calm and warm. Neea calmed down almost immediately after he picked her up, and now that Moon was in front of her she just looked curiously at her, like she was amazed by the person in front of her. He looks Moon in the eyes with a warm smile. "You want to hold her?" He was no worries in his mind, no doubts about Moon in any way, just trust.

He felt a joy in him when he saw Moons face from meeting her niece, it was good to finally see a smile from her, it was a rare sight to behold. He also felt very happy when she complimented her, it was expected as everyone always says nice things about babies but it was different when it came to his own somehow. He looked at her when she said Neea had both him and Lucile in her, he always just saw Lucile in her but maybe that was the same for every parent, either way it was a nice to hear she had him in her as well. As he hears it he also lets out a small happy scoff as a reaction and looks down at Neea again. "She is a blessing, that's for sure" and smiles down at her, she reaches up and tries to grab his hand so he places his thumb in her grip, gently waving her hand back and forth, making her laugh a bit, which then broadens his own smile.

Her hesitation to holding Neea was expected from Moon, but he had no fears that she would ever harm her. "We both know you could never do her harm, you would never allow that to happen" He says as he hands Neea carefully over to Moon. She looks at Moon with curious eyes, she didn't seem scared at all, then when Moon talks to her she opens her mouth with a big smile, like she already accepted Moon as her friend. As Moon strokes her cheek she moves both her hands and holds Moons hand as she lets out a happy squeek "Yiiiaa" and looks her in the eyes, but when she does, she lets go of her hand and becomes curious again, maybe noticing that Moon was different now. So when Neea gets taken by Nicholas again she continues to look at her until he places her on his upper chest, facing her back as he slowly strokes her back while gently rocking his body.
"What's wrong Moon? You did great" he also noticed how she changed but thought it was something about Neea or around her. Then she starts talking about more information which instantly moves his thoughts to Lucile, but the closer she got to the point the more it made him rethink, until she actually said her name, Lucia. It made him stop rocking for a brief moment as it set him out. But he quickly realized that he couldn't show anything while Neea was around. He had bad feeling about what she was going to say, because for a while now he had been concerned about Lucia, he hadn't heard anything from her or John for a long time. "What information?.." Getting more worried the longer it went on, she was family, if anything had happened to her, it would be on him, especially after his last visit.

Her news came and he was silent through the entirety of it, only his breathing becoming more intense, the only thing keeping him from getting angry was Neea. "It's true, of course it's true, that sonofa..." Seeing as his father had abused her before, this was not a far fetched thing at all, he could definitely see him selling her off to someone. "So he is dead then?. Good.." In his mind all he could think about was the he should have finished him off last time he was there, then maybe she would be safe now. "Do we know who she was sold to?" He didn't expect Moon to know, it was just something he asked because he didn't know what else to say, his voice had been monotone since he heard the news, he was just staring at the ground behind Moon, the rocking had stopped but he was still stroking Neea's back while holding her close to his chest. Lucia was like a daughter to him, if she was in trouble then he had to do something, he couldn't loose her. Thinking about it also made him a bit mad a john, how could he have let that happen.. "Why do all the people around me suffer so much?.." What could he do? He couldn't leave Neea, nor could he expose her to any danger, the whole situation sucked.

// Is a bit short. Deal with it, shortbus

He could see that Moon had trouble saying anything to him, probably knowing he would not take it lightly, but that meant there was even more bad news. And as soon as she uttered the next words his expression went blank, this is where his heart would stop if it wasn't for the fact that it already had a long time ago. Dead? Was she really dead? But before he could say anything she continued with Lucia not being dead, making him pinch his eyes and frown his face in confusion. "What is that supposed to mean? Did you find her body or not? Who's else could it be?" The whole situation left him frustrated as it didn't make sense to him, if they had her body how could she still be alive?
He moved Neea to the other side of his chest, and by doing so he felt the bracelet on his arm. He moved around one of the beads on it as he thought about her. Then his face lit up as something came to his mind. He quickly looked at Moon with a serious and hopeful face. "Did you find a necklace on her?" It could be a fluke, but maybe if it was not on her that it truly wasn't her? Although she could have just forgotten it or it could have been stolen, even though it was not valuable in any way.

When told him about a new Lucia he didn't know what to think, the thought of her being alive was relieving and hopeful, and if there was a chance that she was alive, there was not way he was going to ignore it. Lou.. he started to think of theories and reasons why she would be someone else, each thought more far fetched than the last, but in the end there was only one way to truly know. She was right, he had to go, but then there was the question of what to do with Neea. If she didn't offer he was going to ask her anyone, but at least he felt better about it now that it was her idea. "I'm glad you offered" he said softly as he kissed the side of her head before rocking her a bit. Moon talking about Neea shining though the darkness made him crack half a smile, he was glad she felt that way, but he also knew it would be hard on both of them. Since she was born he had barley ever left her side and when Lucile left he didn't leave her side at all.

The fact that Moon asked him about her race meant that she couldn't tell either, at least so far. He held her out a bit so he could look her in the eyes, seeing her look right back at him with her curiously adorable face. "I was hoping you could tell me.. Lucile has no experience with any kind of babies and I've only dealt with human ones, maybe some other races without knowing, not very popular to be anything else in this city, so its rare that they'll admit it.." He lets out a sigh before continuing " There is definitely something about her, that's for sure.. My first guess would be a mix, but i didn't think that was possible.. Ironically though, she's still my little angel" He finishes by kissing her forehead, making her giggle and wave her arms around. "Time for another trip to Moonie angel" He has a soft and warm tone towards her as he hands her to Moon again, whether she accepts or not. And as soon as she gets in Moon's arms she grabs her sweater and pulls closer. "You look cute together" he says smiling, it was good to see that Neea was so comfortable with Moon, specially seeing as she was the first stranger she had met other than him and Lucile.

As he looked at them he subconsciously had his fingers on the bracelet around his wrist. Thinking back to when Lucia gave it to him, how sweet she was, how innocent.. Then he remembered that there were three of them. "Wait here for a moment." He said as he walked out of the study and over to a cabinet next to the kitchen, he squats down and opens one of the lower doors. He moves around a few things and takes out a box and brings it back to them. He has an exited look on his face as he opens the box and takes out the last bracelet, he had forgotten because of everything that had happened. "It was a gift for Neea from Lucia.." He places the box on the table and leans over to the cute pair, bending the bracelet to fit her small wrist but Neea kept grabbing it, probably thinking it was a toy. "Maybe it's too soon" He lets out a small laugh and just lets her play with it "Just make sure she doesn't loose it" It was a sweet sight seeing them like that, but he had to go soon, the sun had been down for a long time and there was no time to spare if he was going to look for her. But then there was that, where was he supposed to go? The best start would be at John's place, hoping he had any answers, any leads at all. Either way, before he left there was something he had to give her, without it there was probably no chance of her being calm.

// It's oke, mine is short too :)))

// Mocking me :((((((

When she showed him the necklace he gave Lucia it brought a whole new reality to the situation, of course he believed Moon but maybe he was hoping she was wrong somehow, but that necklace confirmed it. He had to find her, no matter what, she was like a daughter to him and he'd be damned if anything were to happen to her. Standing here and thinking about what happened or hypothesizing about it wouldn't help if there was no actual evidence for anything. The first order of business was to find her, so that meant finding a lead on where she was or had been. There was something else he had to do, if Moon was correct that she had changed body then he had to see the one she left behind, the one he knew.. He slowly reached out and took the necklace she handed him, stroked the rod with his thumb for a second before putting it in his vest pocket. "Moon.. where is she now? The.. former her." He had to find her body to bring it the peace and respect it'd earned.

After learning what he could from Moon he walked into the bedroom picked up a ragged yet soft shirt from the bed, held it in his hands for a while before holding close to his face and sniffed it. It still had her smell on it, the shirt helped Neea with the anxiety, smelling her mother gave a small comfort, not just to her but to him as well. He walked back to Moon and folded it into her hand with Neea, then kissed her on the forehead. "I won't be gone for long angel, be nice to Moonie while i'm away" he had a soft and warm voice when talking to her, and he meant what he said. "Now i know you have your deal with affection but just endure it" he says with a teasing tone before ambushing her with a hug from the side to not squeeze Neea. "Thank you for doing this, and for telling me.." His tone was sincere as he looks her in the eye. Neea was quiet and just stared at her father as he left, trying to think about what was going on, being really nervous but still comfortable with her aunt. Nicholas walks towards the exit and grabs a small pouch of coins and a dark hooded coat, smiles back at them and leaves, closing the door gently behind him and heads down the street.

He didn't like being away from his daughter but it was for the best, he wasn't going to be gone for too long and she was safe with her aunt, besides, it was good for her to have some time apart from him to get used to it. He had no worries about her safety as he knew she was in safe hands.
As he came closer to the alley it just hit him that he hadn't been back there since Langdon died, it felt wrong to show up out of nowhere and ask for help. Turning the corner and seeing the lively place brought back that old feeling of home, but with a missing piece.. Seeing the people there in such conditions made him feel bad, he had been pretty much a shut-in since Lucile left, almost forgetting how bad things where in his and the surrounding neighborhoods. It had been so long since he practiced medicine, helping those in need, he knew he had to get back into it as soon as time permitted it, and especially here, he owed them that much at the very least. He didn't have much but they seemed to have even less so he took out some coins from the pouch, crouched down and gave them to some of the adults. "Here you go, get some new blankets and some food. I will be back here at some point to check on you guys if you need any medical help" He said with a warm smile before getting back up and walking further in the alley, spotting someone familiar.

He knew it couldn't be him but the similarity was uncanny, maybe a relative or some god trying to be funny, making him see the face he didn't save. The staring got him noticed, and as the man approached him he walked towards him as well. Seemed like he was expected since the man knew his name. "That's right" He shook his hand and listened to his introduction. "Ah Collin, Nice to meet you, hope you don't mind me asking, but do you have any relation to Langdon by any chance?" Was it only a coincidence that they looked alike? "Moon said you would know where i could find Lucia, or whats left of her.." It pained him to say it, but he knew she was still alive out there, this was just to make sure her body got the respect it deserved, as long as he focused on that it would be fine, he couldn't give up on her.