Where it all began - Nicholas

Nothing interesting huh? Alright, he knew inquiring about the book would be a dead end, so he let it be. As he reached out to her she grabbed his arm with a really tight grip, not hard enough to hurt him, but enough to make him feel it. He put his other hand over hers as he looked at her with a dread expression on his face. She had pain written all over her, and he felt so useless, this couldn't be fixed with stitching nor healing. As she leaned in towards him he moved the hand to her shoulder, trying to comfort her as best he could, hoping his presence would make her feel slightly better."Try to relax, I'm here for you" But all of a sudden she lets go and leans back in her chair, with an entirely different expression and vibe coming off her, it was Lucy again. Dammit, her overprotective instincts again. Did she fear this more than Lucile did? and that's why she takes over? He understood the unfriendly tone she had towards him, and carried no ill feelings for her. "Why would telling me be a problem? It wont go away just because you don't talk about it." The anger and bitterness he could understand, it was a sore spot, the worst spot actually, but why keep it locket away? Was she afraid he would judge them, think differently in any way of them?
And there was a question he was used to. Every time his procedures didn't go well, every time he lost a patient. There was always someone telling him what he did wrong, how he wasn't fit to be a doctor. "Wasn't he supposed to help those in need?" He knew that not every patient would survive, that something every doctor had to realize. But it didn't mean he forgot any of them, he still carried all their deaths on his back. Before he could think more she started to wriggle in pain. It was clear that they weren't in sync with each other, they were wrestling for control.
"It's alright Lucile, i understand her anger, I'm not taking it personally." Truth was he took it a bit personally, not because of Lucy, but because of the last thing she said. It was true, he was supposed to relieve pain, and not being able to do so increased his self loathe. What was the point of doing what he did, if it didn't bring anything good? Then came the question he knew he wouldn't be able to avoid, he knew what she meant the second she said it. And it hit him hard, what a hypocrite he had been, "Problems wont go away just because you don't talk about them...." It's what he had been doing all these years. But not now, if he wanted them to share their past it was only fair he'd do the same for them. "Her name was Isabel.. She was everything important in my life. She was such a good person, too good for this place.. and I'm the reason she's no longer here.." He can't look her in the eyes as he talks, maybe it was shame, maybe he didn't want to see her pity him, either way, he couldn't look up. He realized this conversation would be hard on both of them the direction it was heading.

Just as he finished she jumped up, smacking the cup away and grabs his jaw, leaving him at an awe, confused to why she got so angry. Did he trigger another memory of theirs? He looked deep into her eyes as she spoke. What was this, it wasn't what he expected, not from Lucy at least. It felt nice knowing she seemed to care, but it wasn't that simple, never was. When she let go and finished talking he stopped to think back a bit, painful as it was, he just stared into nothingness. "It's not that simple, i knew how dangerous her work was, yet i waited too long to get her out of it, and when i found her... she wasn't dead. I could have saved her, but i was stupid and tried an unorthodox method that was risky on its own, the fact that she was rapidly dying didn't improve the odds either." He still remembered every single cut and bruise on her, every single one, what organs were failing, the arteries cut. But he was not going into detail, she wouldn't understand it even if he tried to, not unless she was well versed in anatomy. Before he could speak again, she continued talking, which snapped him out of the stare, looking her in the eyes.
What she said made him furious, not at her, but at himself, he quickly got on his feet, making the chair fall back as he leaned on the table and started yelling "You don't think i know that!?" Slamming his fist down on the table, making his knuckles bleed, ever so slightly from the wounds it created. Exhaling, trying to calm down, he leans of the table, turns around and starts moving his hand around his head. "I know it wont bring her back, i made peace with that a long time ago, its not about that.. Its the fact that she died because of me, and even putting that aside, i should have been with her, the final moment, i should have had my goodbye, relieved her of pain, done what a good doctor would do.. but instead, i tore her apart.. treating her like a carcass.."He stopped, the more he talked about it the more the memories flashed at him, reminding him of what he did, he looked down at his arm, it started itching. Why did she care so much about this? She didn't seem like the type to care what others did, as long as it didn't evolve her or Lucile. The more he got to know her, the more he saw her as a human, maybe more so than him. There was a lot of truth to what she told him, but again, it was never that simple, he always tried making the best out of the situation, but there was times he just couldn't control how things went.
He turns around after a few breaths, looks at the chair for a second before picking it up and sitting down. "I'm sorry, i let my anger get the best of me." It was his time to ask the question, would be good to change topic as well, giving him some breathing room. "So, Lucy, what aren't you telling me about your past?" Anxiously awaiting her response to his question.

When she said he had scared her away he felt guilty, he was never angry, well, never expressed his anger, but Lucy pushed just the right buttons to get him there. Maybe that was her plan all along, either way, he had to apologize to Lucile later, there was no point in doing it now when she wasn't here, and Lucy probably wouldn't tell her if he asked her to. As she put her hand over his arm, he snapped out of it and looked at her as she spoke, meeting her eyes when she stopped. "Her death was not on his hands" The amount of times he had heard that back when he worked at the hospital.. Didn't change how he felt, never did. When someone became his patient, that meant their lives was in his hands, he was solely responsible for them. Nothing would change that, he knew he would pay at some point for every time he let a patient die, he had accepted that."You're right, It's hard seeing the difference these days.." As she poked him on the chest he felt it, it did relieve some tension, but he still felt bad about Lucile. As he sits down, he turns the chair towards Lucy, listening to what she has to say. At first he was confused to what she was talking about, did she really believe what she was saying? He knew that wasn't true, she had to have had a different body at some point before their joining. There had never been a soul born without its own body. He had no idea how they were forced into the same body, but they weren't born like that, he knew that much.
"You really don't know your past, do you? You had your own body before you were two, whether you remember it or not, two souls in the same body is not possible unless someone makes it happen. You may have lost your memories, but they always have a funny way of coming back to you. As long as you have patience." he said with pure conviction, no doubt in his voice. "And if it can be done, it can be undone" a bit more unsure. She looks at him as she spoke and he could tell she was dead serious about it. Did she really have that little faith in Lucile, she knew her a lot better than he did, but to him it just seemed like she treated her as child all the time, not capable of doing anything by herself. And even if that was true, it was Lucy's fault, instead of teaching her and letting her learn from the world, she had locked her away and done everything for her.. And that at the end, was she afraid that Lucile would have a breakdown and remove Lucy from her mind? It wouldn't be that simple, as powerful as a demon might be, actually destroying a soul had to be beyond their power right? He understood she said it as a warning or a threat, so he wasn't going to comment on it, but he would not heed it. He was still going to ask Lucile about it at some point. He didn't believe anything that bad would come of it. "I get it, though you should try out empathy, i think it would suit you" There was no real reason he said that other than trying to get a reaction out of her.

It was time for her question this time, and he was curious to what it would be. She had managed to hit sore spots with every question so he prepared for the worst. Was it about when he worked at the field hospital? Maybe about the big gash on his back, where he nearly died? Nah, couldn't be, she had no knowledge about either of those, how could she. The question left him surprised, there was none. She let him have another go first. It was clear she didn't know more about her past so there was no reason asking about it, however, she might know something else he was curious about. "What do you know about Lucile's sister? Blue eyes, pink hair, cold personality, ring a bell? After all, she was the one that sent Lucile here right?" He knew she would know who she was, so he was curious to see if she would lie or tell the truth, not that she had any reason to lie, right?

As she sat down on him, it rendered him speechless, when she pulled herself close and whispered to him, his heartbeat doubled and it felt heavy. What was this, he didn't register what she said at first as feelings overwhelmed him. He was in a trance, and couldn't help staring at her lips as he lifted his hands towards her thighs, wanting to go in. He had to remember it was Lucy, the temptation was hard, but before he could do anything she got off him and sat on the table, breaking the trance, which made him focus better. "I'm not sure, yet, but there has to be an explanation for that" "They shared feelings?" That had to be a side effect of being in the same body, he was dead sure she had her own body once upon a time, but this was interesting. He wondered what else they shared, they had to have their own thoughts, otherwise Lucile would know everything Lucy did and vice versa. Maybe he could use his next question for that, too soon to tell, he was waiting for her response to this one first. His heart was still beating fast from earlier, but it seemed to slowly calm down.

"Moon?" he said to himself, thinking back. The name sounded familiar to him, as if he had heard it somewhere else before. He knew of the general but couldn't remember his name. He noticed she didn't seem to care for Moon, there was something there, in her tone. "Yea, maybe.." So she found him through his patients, not likely, why would she remember some random doctor in this district. It's like she said "She knows everyone's dirty deeds" She knew didn't she? She had heard about what happened all those years ago. But then why send her sister here, to him? It didn't make much sense to him. She was a demon as well then, but different to them? A darker second person, She still believed that she was just a part of Lucile.. He tried to think of what type of demon Moon could be but he wasn't that versed in demons, so that would require research at some point.

He saw she was curious to how he knew about her, and probably what he knew about her. She acted really strange, like she didn't want to know the answer, and changing the question as well. Did he really discover something that frightened Lucy? Was that even possible? "You're afraid of her aren't you?" Looking curiously at her, ignoring her second question entirely "I'll tell you how i know her, if you first tell me what makes you fear her" This had really caught his interest, what was it about Moon? Was Lucile afraid of her too? Was she a danger to them? He had to know more, if not for himself, but for their safety. Thinking of Lucile, he wondered how long she would be gone, hoping he didn't scare her too bad, still feeling guilty Lucy managed to push him that far. And because of what happened only a few moments ago, he knew how she felt, if that was not just Lucy playing with him. Hard to tell, she was hard to read at times..

It seemed his question made her angry, as expected, but he was still curious to why she didn't like talking about Moon, there was so much unknown that could prove useful information for later. Either way he got her rattled, and as she grabbed his collar she spilled some information she probably wouldn't say if she wasn't angry like this. So it didn't seem like she feared Moon after all, then what was it, did she do something to them? Or was it something she didn't do perhaps? At least he got something interesting from the question, another question. Who was this guy she was afraid of? And why was she afraid of him? Couldn't be the one that did this to them, she said he was dead. Doubtful it was a human, or anyone weaker than her. Another demon perhaps? He wanted to ask about it but her threats seems very genuine. Could she really do that? Did she have that power, or was she bluffing? The guy definitely had an impact on her, that was clear. No, the risks outweighed the reward. He couldn't take a chance knowing she might clear Lucile's memories and leave forever. "Alright, you have my word, i won't mention it" He hoped he could keep that promise.

He grip loosened, Was she calming down? No, it was Lucile, she had come back. Before he could think about it she went numb and he barely caught her within his arms, not that it would matter if he didn't, she would just fall into his lap. Seemed she had less control over the transfer than she usually did, but maybe that was in his head, just felt different this time. As she woke up she greeted him with a smile, to which he just had to smile back "Glad you're alright, I'm sorry about my outburst earlier, i shouldn't have let that happen" He held around her shoulder as she seemed to wake up, trying to think of what to say, but couldn't think of anything, all he knew is that this felt nice, peaceful, and as she looked back up to him his heart started to pound again like earlier. His feelings for her was flooding back into his head. She seemed to be a bit embarrassed to how she woke up, which just made him smile even more. "You have nothing to be sorry about Lucile" As he reached out for her hand, gently pulling her close to him, his breath gets heavy as he places his hand on her neck, slowly moving it up to her jawline. He lifts his head up to hers closing his eyes, softly kissing her upper lip. His hand holding hers slowly moves up her arm, up to the other cheek. His heart is working overtime, his mind is solely focused on her, nothing else in the world matters right now. He had no idea he could feel this way about anyone.

As she places her hand on his chest it feels calming in a way, but the heart was still racing, his breath became heavier and he loved every moment of it. The way she made him feel was indescribable, for this moment, he wasn't worried about anything, he couldn't even think about anything but Lucile. Her touch, her smell, her breath, he couldn't get enough of her, he had to have more. When he felt her lips on his he felt an overjoy he had not felt before, every kiss she gave back was an ecstasy, this could not end, his heart would stop if it did. He felt her getting more intense which felt good, it felt more intimate.
Their eyes meet as he hears his name under her breath, but before he could open his mouth she pushed him against the wall moving all the way in on him. Her body and his were together, they were one, he felt her warmth pressing up against him. He looked her in the eyes, and could tell she was into this as much as him, craving more from each other. He lets out a quick pant as his mouth formed a grin, his arms wrapped around her back as he moved in for her lips again, this time more intense, trying to match her pace. Being with her felt like a drug, the ecstasy wouldn't stop, which was good because he had no intentions of letting it end any time soon. His arms moves slowly down her back, it was like he had to have more at the same time, his hands stop between her butt and thighs, gently massaging as his kissing moves down to focus her lower lip, after a few seconds of pure pleasure feeling her lips move along with his, he slows down for one last kiss, hooking his teeth on her lower lip, gently biting it, dragging it slightly out before he lets go, looking her in the eyes with the grin on his face.
His hands form a grip on her thighs as he lifts her up, turning around and pinning her against the wall. He looks at her with a lustful expression "I just can't get enough of you..." He goes in for her upper neck, starting slow with kissing her, pressing his lips on her neck he felt he was loosing more and more control, his primitive instincts got more hold of him, like a starved vampire finally getting a fresh neck, there was more tension in his kisses, he started using his teeth more the lower he got on her neck, not leaving a single spot untouched. He hadn't noticed it, but during this time he had let out pants and heavy breathing, work of the over beating heart no doubt. He has not felt this alive in a very, long time.

As he worked his way down her neck, he felt her hands on his jawline as she lifted his head up to hers, giving him a kiss different to the rest of them and looked away. This left him confused to what was wrong, did he go to fast, or did he do something wrong? She seemed sad, he had no problem stopping, after all, this was about her, not him. His arms moved up and locket her in close, a tight hug. "Don't be sorry, It's alright, we don't have to do anything, I'm just happy you're here" His priority was to make her happy, whatever that meant. He hoped there wasn't anything serious behind her sad face. And as he finished that thought she told him to remove her shirt with a determined expression on her face. It left him a bit confused to why, did she try to continue in an attempt to making him happy because she felt bad? Maybe she was going to show him something. He grabbed on to the arms of the shirt and pulled it slowly up, off her. What was revealed was her naked skin, pale as snow, her fragile body covered in scars all over. He understood why she wanted to stop now.

The scars probably gave her memories of the past back. As he looked at them he immediately saw what they were, as a doctor he could identify what the intention of nearly all of them would be. The rest he could only make a guess to what their purpose would be. As he looked at them he said "I'm sorry this happened to you Lucile.."
His hand gently glided along her body as he felt the scars with his fingers for a moment before he stopped. He looked her in the eyes for short time, seeing the pain hiding behind them. He takes a step back and turns around before removing his own shirt, revealing a couple of smaller scars, a side effect of living in this district, and a big gash starting from his upper shoulder blade, going down to his lower back. From all his scars, he felt it was kind of ironic the biggest one came from a patient of his. "Scars should not remind you of the pain you were once in.. they represent the battles you've won, challenges you've overcome." He thinks back to the war in Doomsville not that many years ago and takes his hand over a chest wound, feeling it as the memories of it came to him. But he knew as bad as his memories was, hers would be worse, he had no doubt in that. He turns around, revealing more scars, hailing from when he was a field surgeon. Giving her a smile he takes a step closer to her, taking her hand, he sees one that stands out, it was uneven, meaning either an unstable doctor or an unstable patient, he knew what it was. He lifts up her arm and gently kisses the scar a brief moment, looking up at Lucile. "Don't be afraid of your past.. it can only haunt you if you let it." He knew it was hypocritical of him saying it, but it didn't make it any less true. The point of him removing his shirt was not to gain any pity, it was in the hopes of her feeling less alone in her situation.

He felt her fingers going down the his gash, the wound happened while ago, but he could still feel some kind of phantom pain which shouldn't be possible, could be the memories doing it. Either way he wouldn't show it to her, he couldn't. He noticed it had an effect on her, hopefully a positive one, he knew whatever he did wouldn't remove any of her pain, but it was still worth a shot trying take me her feel better. He took notice of her expression as she looked him in the face and spoke. He tried forming a smile for her but couldn't brush of the mournful look he had. She was right, their scars were different, his scars were of survival, but courage?... his arm started itching again as memories came back to him. He clenched his fist and teeth trying to get rid of it without giving any sign of it. The field hospital... if she only knew what happened, she wouldn't be saying that, the things he let happen, the people that died because of him, because of his cowardice.. But this wasn't the time, he could live with it, he had so far. He snapped back to reality as he listened to what she said. There was no way he could imagine what she went through, he saw her pain, she was shaking, the tear that ran down her cheek. He placed his hands around her upper arms, trying to keep eye contact with her as much he could. What she said, it was beyond cruel, he had no words for it. The more she talked about her past the less it made sense to him. Since he first heard of it he tried figuring out the motive of the experiment, would it would achieve, what could be learned from it, what the whole point of it was. But it just seemed more and more like there was no point to it, so then why do the experiment?

He saw how much pain she had to be in, she was breaking down, this would be good in the long run, but right now it was torture. He was angry at himself, all the knowledge he had, all his studies, to no use for helping her, even his fucking healing power couldn't do anything. If there only was a way to transfer the pain, but that would require an ability. and he knew none with it. After he hear what she said, he disagreed with her. "That's where you're wrong, luck had nothing to do with it. What you went through, not just anyone could have survived that, it took true strength, more than i could ever hope to have. Look where you are now, you are alive, he is dead, there is nothing wrong with you. He didn't get bored of you, he couldn't break you, that's why you are here today. because at the end of the nightmare, you were the one leaving victorious, with the scars to prove it" He heard Lucy's voice. He almost forgot, she was here all along, she was experiencing the same as Lucile was, but she didn't want to confront it, she was about to say the name of the man responsible for this sadistic work. He saw her trying to cover her face, out of fear, or shame? He moved his hands to her, holding them tight as she spoke some familiar words. "The flayer of Etermia" It couldn't be, no, there was no way.. "Ramsey Deverux" he whispered at the same time she said it. Just as the tears bursted from her eyes, he dragged her to him in a split second, holding one hand around the back of her head and the other stroking her back up and down slowly. "Ssshhh... You're alright, it's ok.. just let everything out" Gently caressing her head.

"Goddammit, another victim of this monster" Everything started to make sense now. The reason he couldn't find a motive for the experiment was because there was none. Ramsey was a psychopath that tortured people for the sheer fun of it, there was no reasoning behind it, ever. He had countless patients that were victims of Ramsey, many of them beyond repair. He carried no grudge against any man, his oath wouldn't let him. But Ramsey, the hate for him was unreal, the terror, death and fear he brought to the city. That's why the experiment sounded familiar to him, he had heard of them, some of the patients that actually had their mind barely intact, had gruesome things to say. Her fear was more understandable to him now that he knew where it came from. But that proved his point even more, being a victim of Ramsey, her mind was in better shape than others he met. She was strong, but even the strongest wasn't invincible. " I know what you went through was horrible, beyond gruesome, but you are never going back to that, you are stronger than you think. You will get through this, i will be here every step of the way" He tighten his grip on her as he leans his head over her shoulder.

// Out ;3 <3