Lets see where this leads - Nicholas

As the doors opened he was greeted by one of the maids and he did agree with what she asked him. "Yes, I'm sorry about that, I just figured since... i left in a hurry, that i should at least come back and show my respects.." Then he saw Jonathan coming up to them, he nodded to him as he spoke "Mr. Crane. Yeah i understand, thank you for helping me, it was... Thank you." He followed him inside and down the hall. He mentioned that his stuff had been packed including payment, which surprised him, he knew Mr. Crane talked about a payment for his services but he failed, the child died.. "Thank you but keep the payment, i can't accept it. Not only because i let her down, but i don't take payment for child cases, just a principle i have." With a serious and yet a bit sad voice. At the end of the hall he could see the father standing, the guilt shot through his body as they approached him. He couldn't look him in the eyes but he saw a smile as Mr. Crane talked to him.

Then he started to question things, why were they all so cheerful, why had they not told him off already, and why the payment? Then when Mr. Crane said someone was expecting him he was in denial. "No, it couldn't be..." They opened the door and as they walked in the first place he looked was at the bed where Lucia was before, seeing the blood he figured someone had operated on her, because the last time he saw her she wasn't bleeding. He moved his gaze around the room scanning for people. Then he saw her, the easily recognizable hair, and when she turn to him it hit him hard. His heart stopped, he heard her voice, she was real. As she walked over to him his body went numb for a second, making him fall on his knees in front of her. He was so confused "But... how.?" His eyes were shaking just looking at her. When Mr. Crane told him to let her touch his face he was very skeptical about it seeing as the last time brought him his worst possible nightmare. But he trusted his word, he wouldn't intentionally hurt him. He leaned forward towards Lucia letting her touch his face.

Just like last time the environments disappeared around him, Mr Crane and Lucia were both gone. He was suddenly sitting on grass, he looks down, Lucile is laying with her head in his lap looking up at him with a smile. He holds around here as he looks around, they are sitting in the meadow she showed him not too long ago. its evening, and the sun is setting before them, creating a warm atmosphere around them. Next to him he hears laughter, and when he turns to the side and looks he sees two children chasing each other, they were his and Lucile's children, there was no way he didn't see the similarities in them and Lucile. As he cuddles Lucile he leans in and kisses her. Everything is perfect. But it doesn't last long before it all fades again. He sees Lucia again, looking almost like one of their children, a tear rolls down his cheek as he smiles to her.

"Thank you.." He leans in an hugs her. As Mr. Crane tells her to go to Alicia he was in a euphoria, following her with his eyes as she leaves. Then looks up at Mr. Crane with a question mark on his face as he gets up on his feet again. "Yeah... Lead the way." On the way to the studies there was a lot of questions in his head. The biggest being about Lucia obviously, but also on what she was, he mentioned "feeding" Was she a demon? or a vampire maybe? It didn't matter, even if she was there was no way he would ask her something like that. When they arrived he just started his questioning straight away. "So you want to tell me what you did to her? And what she is?" He had more coming but he would give him some time to answer first. What didn't make sense to him was why he was brought here if they could save her without him...

As they arrived to the study he saw the mess around the bookcase, probably something to do with whatever he did to Lucia. He walks over to the desk and just stands there, listening to Mr. Crane. So his suspicion was right, she was dead, he had just turned her into a creature of the night. But how he did that was something he wasn't versed in, not vampire transformation. But then he showed him the open book which explained a blood transfusion. Now that was something he was familiar with, but didn't he need a vampire's blood for that? Was Mr. Crane one of them? That would explain why he didn't eat or drink anything. But that didn't explain how he got to his home on a bright sunny day. "A transfusion.." he said curiously, almost thinking out loud. Before talking further he let Mr. Crane finish speaking.

As he got up from his chair he started responding. "So you turned her into a creature, an undead. Allowing her to live her life with a huge responsibility.." It might have sounded like he judged him but it was more of a curious thought. He noticed he was staring at something out the window, probably Lucia. Seemed like he really cared for her. He walked over next to him looking out at Lucia, placing his hand on his shoulder."I'm not one for judging if what people do is right, I've done my share of bad shit.. But i think you did right, she might have a burden with her, but she is alive, in a way at least. You saved her." he said with a calm voice, staring at Lucia. She really did remind him of one of his kids from the dream. Now a vampire, he wished he knew more about their world, maybe he could be more of help to them. The question he asked Nicholas would really test his medical profession. There was no lessons on vampires in the education, and what he had studied on them before was on anatomy, what their weaknesses and strengths were, this was out of his league. But he could try to analyze it. "Well, that's a hard question, i've had very limited encounters with vampires." Comparing her to humans would probably be the best option in this case. "A normal human stops growing around their late twenties when the aging starts, Seeing as they're immortal there would be no aging process, but growing as nothing to do with deterioration, so she might grow until the aging starts." He says almost like he is thinking it, not saying it. He hadn't thought about it before so it was just something that came to his head as he was asked. "All this is speculation of course.. Either way, what is for certain is that her mind will mature, whether her body does or not.." He said with a more sure voice.

Lucia was turned as a child, which meant she was still innocent, she could still avoid killing people for food. And he hoped Mr. Crane share that belief. There was no need to turn her into a killer just so she could survive. But the way Mr. Crane acted around her made him feel he would only have his best intentions at heart for her. This made him curious thought, if he could learn this procedure, if it was just like any other blood transfusion or if there was anything special about it. While still staring out at Lucia he says "Do you think you could repeat the procedure?" with a dead serious voice. If he could then maybe this was the solution to his problem. The question was if he should talk to Lucile about it first, she could be completely against it.. He was conflicted again.

He had hoped his question would get by without getting noticed, but Mr. Crane was too smart for that, he knew something was up, and as he looked at Nicholas he didn't look away from Lucia, but he could feel him looking at him with a serious face. He needed a scapegoat, a reason to why he asked that question, maybe something to do with his patients, a way to save them or something. But before he could think of something Mr. Crane already knew why he wanted to know, he had figured it out, maybe it was obvious. There was no point in lying to him about it. He felt his anger they way he looked at him, but Nicholas didn't look at him, he was still looking at Lucia, but it didn't help. Mr. Crane stepped in front of him, standing close staring at him, making Nicholas look back at him. "Yes.. for love.." He said with a calm voice, looking at him with a serious yet calm face. He wasn't riled up by him, nor scared, he knew Mr. Crane wouldn't do him anything, he could understand his anger, after all Nicholas knew nothing of an immortal life, he didn't know what people like him had to go through. But he didn't think about what the consequences would be for him, he was focused on Lucile. But what he said next did trigger his anger to a certain degree.

"A happy ending? Is that what you call it? You think I'm doing this for me? Do you even realize how this will end for her? She will see me wither away having to take care of me until i die, then see our children grow up, wither and die, and repeat that cycle until the entire family tree is dead... Please, by all means.. Tell me how that is a happy ending, huh? I wouldn't even be alive if it wasn't for her... So yeah, excuse me if i don't exactly value my life to your standards.." Raising his voice the longer he spoke. He had hit a nerve, preaching about how he was doing his life wrong because he didn't value his mortality. Such bullshit, this was never about himself, it wasn't that he didn't value his mortality, it was that he didn't value his life at all if there was no Lucile, knowing that not acting would break her heart, over and over as she had to live longer than her family. He probably didn't understand him, either way there was no point in arguing with him, he wouldn't change his mind anyway. He exhaled deeply. "I'm sorry.." as he backed off to the window Nicholas was still standing in his spot, looking down. "You might not see it now, but she is alive, her future doesn't have to change just because she did, there are ways around it youknow.. if you guide her she will still be the same, would it really be fair to let her die that young? not experiencing anything in life?" He said with a calm and almost sad voice.

As he turned around he looked him in the eyes as he asked him the question. He was right, there was an endless list of things that could happen if he went through with it. All risks he was willing to take for her. If he died now, then at least she had time to get over it, rather than living his entire life with her and her not getting over it, living alone for centuries.. "Yeah... you're right.. there is no certain outcome.. If i change? I will deal with that when and if that happens. If i die.. at least i didn't waste her time. I understand the risks Mr. Crane, i have thought about this." He looks at him with with a face that could resemble pity. "Look.. you know more about immortality than me, but hear me when i say this.. I'm not asking you for permission, nor am i asking you to do it.. I will find another way. I am thankful for what you have done for me, and i don't want to cause you any pain." He says with a smile. "Say goodbye to Lucia for me will you?" It was almost morning and he didn't want to keep him, especially if he was upsetting him. He could always return another time. Though on the other hand he also wanted to stay, there was more to know, he would let Mr. Crane decide as he turned around and started walking towards the exit.

There was a lot of truth to what Mr. Crane told him, but accepting his mortality now, would not stop the pain she would go through later. And yes, some of it was for himself as well, getting to live en eternal life with Lucile, that was worth any price he had to pay. He could see there was no changing his thoughts on Lucia, just like a doctor, taking every death on his back, Mr. Crane had her on his. As he finished his sentence and heard what Mr. Crane said it made him think about it. What if she didn't accept the change? That was a good question. He would never think differently of Lucile whatever she did or became. But he couldn't ask that of her. This was just more reason for him to talk to her about it before he did anything, even though that conversation would be hard. But if she would deny him and leave him forever, being immortal did not mean being invincible, he knew how kill a vampire. "Well, you're right.. without her the purpose would be gone. But that does not mean I'm condemned Mr. Crane.. I happen to know a small group that could have use for my body.." He said with an expressionless face. Thinking of Langdon and their packages. He didn't know how or what the packages were but he was sure they wouldn't mind him offering himself up as a final thank you, making himself useful one last time.

As he started walking he felt Mr. Crane's hand on his shoulder as he asked him to stay, which meant he hadn't stepped too far out of line. It was good, they could continue their discussion. Other options? He had a quick thought about it on the way here, thinking of those he knew about. "I have yes, this seemed the best out of them" He said with a curious voice. Did Mr. Crane know of an alternative he didn't know about? As Mr. Crane walked over to the desk, Nicholas stood in the same spot by the window. He was in his thoughts, trying to wrap his head around everything. But then he heard it, at the beginning of his sentence. Shadow creatures. As Mr. Crane continues it was just a blur of words, because Nicholas didn't pay attention to him. He was already thinking about Moon. How could he have forgotten this choice. Moon was a good person, but every time he looked into her eyes there was nothing. He never forgot what Langdon said about her either. The sweetest demon, not wanting to hurt a fly, the most positive impact. But after becoming a shadow creature became the opposite, she lost her soul and her spark, feeding off negativity and hate. He remembered how she was back at the camp. And how she lost control, he wasn't sure about if all that came with being a shadow creature. But that was a risk he was not willing to take. Being a soulless husk feeding of Lucile's emotions. A leech. Just as he finishes talking, almost interrupting him he says. "No" with pure conviction, still looking out the window. "I know one of them.." Moon was close to his heart but he saw how bad she struggled, could he really put Lucile through that? The more they talked the worse he felt for Lucile. Nothing seemed to be the right choice anymore, whatever he did he would end up hurting her. Lucy was right about that one..

He heard what Mr. Crane asked him with an almost concerned voice, he knew what he had told him would make him react, even though that was not the point. "Relax Jonathan, I'm fine.. the point i was trying to make is that there is always a way out, Immortal or not.." He knew he wouldn't be able to live without Lucile, if she did reject him, he honestly had no idea what he would do, but he wasn't telling Jonathan that. As he continues his speech Nicholas listened closely to what he had to say, smiling at him while he was finished. "Yea, it's very clear you are immortal, my lifetime is no more than a second to you... the longer i wait the older my body will get, i am pretty much in my prime now, it would only make sense to do it now.." Jonathan would never understand that, for all he knew he could be several thousand years old, time was nothing to him. As he asked him for a walk to see the sunset he thought it was probably an attempt to change his mind again, but nevertheless, a walk wouldn't hurt.

He followed Jonathan out the house by his side. The morning had arrived, nature had woken up, he could hear the sounds, see the light coming up. He could feel the frost on his skin, it was peaceful. As they walked down the street he finally agreed to Nicholas's request, which made him calm a bit more down, knowing he had the transformation under control, not needing to worry about finding it elsewhere. "Yea alright, you got a deal" with a serious voice, not promising anything just for the fact that he had no idea what he would do. And when he tried to make him feel better about himself or encourage him, he responded fairly quickly "Who says I'm not doing it out of guilt? Or out of greed?" With an almost convinced voice looking at Jonathan.

Then the vampirism came to question again. Humanity.. Sometimes he thought he lost that back in the war, where it was either removed by choice or ripped from you. Until he met Lucile that is, she made him a better man, there was no question about that. "That's the thing Jonathan.. I lost that a long time ago.. But Lucile.. she gives me my humanity back every time shes around.." There was a lot of questions around humanity when there was another race in involved. That was something he never understood, just because it had human in its name didn't mean they were the only ones with it. He had met several people of different races with it, including Jonathan, whether he knew it or not. But there was no point in telling him, he had no idea if he would take him seriously or how he would react, maybe he even knew it himself.
Another scenario came up, one that his close to home. Lucile being attacked somewhere he could not follow. And image of his nightmare flashed in his mind, her laying on his table. He felt the heart beating faster as he clenched his teeth, trying not to give off that he was affected. She was stronger than he thought of her, she could handle herself in a fight, but that wouldn't stop him from running to help her. "I would find a way, cover myself, elixirs, something.. Run on fire, it doesn't matter. There is always a way, I'll find some way of walking during the day.." He said with a worried voice. He had no intention of letting his nightmare become a reality, he already experienced that, never again. "Let me ask you something" Trying to get the image out of his mind with a different subject "For someone without humanity, you seem to care a lot about what happens to me... Why?" With a curious voice, why did Jonathan care what happened to him, a random doctor that had done nothing for him..

He heard Jonathan didn't really believe what he told him. It was true the reason he was doing his work was because from a young age that's what he thought he was destined for considering his power, then he go into it and loved helping people, and of course because of the oath he had to take, he was forever bound to helping people until he died himself. But there were times he thought about his past, and there was a lot of guilt buried, pushing him to work more than he should, no breaks, work until his body was to broken down to help people anymore. Until he met Lucile and discovered there was a life worth living, with her. He was right about the humanity, if he did loose it, it would be hard on her, but that was only if he lost it, which he still believed her could keep. But he wasn't going to go into it again, none of them knew what would happen so it would only be speculations.

Jonathan's joke was appreciated to lighten the mood. But there was something to it. He turned his head towards Jonathan. "What can be done, can be undone... Just because no one has done it doesn't mean it's not possible." He said with a smile, believing what he said, but had very little faith that he could do that personally, especially with his lack of knowledge on vampires. When he answered Nicholas's question he got the answer he was expecting, but not what he was hoping for. Yet it still gave him a smile, because he did know the answer, he just wanted Jonathan to admit it, maybe some other time. But then he got a bit confused, what was there to envy or respect him for? He hadn't done anything, he was nothing. And then he got it, when he spoke about love for another person. He could understand then why he acted like he was, he had been in a very similar situation. Before he could say something two siblings were chasing each other. He smiled because it brought him back to the good memory Lucia planted in his head, reminding him of his own children. Then he looked at Jonathan, seeing his smile, hearing what he said. "Youknow.. it's never too late for anyone... I can personally attest to that. I was on a downwards spiral until i met Lucile.." He said with a smile, trying to give him some hope in whatever troubles he was facing or had faced. He had live several years alone and broken after what happened, even loosing his humanity in the war.. even on the verge of ending it all just before she arrived. So he had no doubt there would be something good waiting for Jonathan at some point, and it wasn't like he was lacking the time to wait either.

When they reached the bridge he got reminded what he did last time he was here, not a pleasant thought either. But it was here they would part ways, for now. It had been an interesting talk, and he was glad to call him a friend. he was someone he could rely on, he had a good feeling about that. He reaches out and shakes his hand. "Thank you for everything Jonathan, we will see each other soon my friend. Count on it" Smiling at him as he bid him farewell. Walking back he started to worry how he would tell Lucile all this, it would not be an easy talk...

// End of topic. God damned nerd! c: